Nopony here but us Scootaloos...

neon-reaction:

mad-angel-with-a-box:

frequency-radio:

supersonicbionic:

 The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock on the door.

-Frederic Brown

 

Oh hello, I’m the Doctor! Why did you lock yourself in a room? Bit boring, isn’t it?

And the shortest horror story ever just became a comedy.

#How fandoms ruin (improve) hipster posts

the shortest horror story in the world

“internet not connected”

*fixed.*                              ^^^

ohai der!

So picture this… if you will. Shikimaru Nara:

Vashta Narada:

Think about Shiki having those motherfuckers as pets.

fisherpon:

yess… we caught a live one!

askpaigepines:

thetardisinhogwarts:

la-creme:

askpinkamena:

omg

this game was banned in my school because people would just play it over and over again in the library 

motherfuckin thank you

this would be really fucking cool if my arrow keys would fucking work. 

THIS IS PERFECT

??? whats this game about?

soulreaperkasumi:

theyounger—twin:

(Huggles for everyone! :D)

liberateddaveandredeemedrachael:

askgearhoof:

Now that I know how to set up a donate button… the Liberate Dave Fund will be operating shortly. Expect to see it in a day or so.

Button’s up. Just a quick note for my morning followers!

Gearhoof perked his ears forward. “What kind of surprise?” Aqueous grinned at him and trotted outside, tail help high.
“Catch me and find out!” She hovered over his ‘ski, and stuck her tongue out.
“Oh, really now!?” He climbed onto the jetski and took off, as she sped away, taunting him,
“Haa~ you’ll never catch me!” He leaned forward and stuck the tip of his tongue out of the corner of his mouth as he gunned the engine, cutting across the waves. She continually taunted, outdistancing him every time he got close. As they neared the small island that doubled as the weather station, she flew over, and Gearhoof, focused on her, and not the island, ran the ‘ski aground.
“Okay, that isn’t even fair!” He stepped off, and she flew down, tackling him.
“Alright, I’m a cheat. Whatcha gonna do?” She stood over him, nose-to-nose. He frowned at her.
“Fine! I’ll do this!” He leaned in, pressing his lips against hers. Her eyes went wide, ears straight up. He pressed his tongue gently against her lips, and her lips parted, her tongue seeking his. They twined together, and he could feel her breathing faster. They played tag, first his tongue exploring her mouth, then hers darted eagerly into his. He could feel a moan trying to escape, but there was no room to let it out. His heart raced. They broke the kiss, their tongues reaching out to each other, as if reluctant to surrender this moment of bliss. He panted slightly, breathing hard.
“Uhh… wow.” She blushed and her ears perked back.
“Hmm?” She looked down, between her front legs, looking farther back, between the two of them. then back at Gearhoof. “Why, Gearhoof, you really did enjoy that, didn’t you?” He blushed crimson, and tried to squirm out from under her.
“Uh. Yeah… can I just…?” She moved, allowing him to roll over and stand up. He coughed. She let out a deep sigh.
“Say, you can still do that magic diving thing, right?” She perked an ear towards him.
“Yeah, why?” He replied as she nibbled on his mane.
“Because I wanted to show you a coral reef.” He nodded.
“That sounds nice.” He nodded again, and focused on the cantrip for the diving filter. As his horn glowed, the now-familiar dome covered his head.
“Ready?” She flew over to the far side of the island, and he trotted after.
“Yes.” He looked up at her, then splashed into the water after her. This time, he took careful note of her transition. Her back legs seemed to melt together, and he noticed for the first time that she didn’t have scales as he had expected. In fact, her back half didn’t seem fishy at all, more, seal-like.
“Come on, you’ll have all the time in the world to stare later!” She pushed forward, treading with her front legs, and flapping with her wings, looking for all the world as if she was trying to walk and fly through the water. It took all he had to keep up, despite the seeming awkwardness of her motion. As they swam, he noticed the sea floor dropping off steeply. Soon they were in open water. She slowed down and let him catch up with her. “Ok, I want you to stay with me. Whatever happens, do that, okay?”
“Why?” He frowned, treading water.
“Because we might see sharks on the way. Say, do you know of any barrier spells?”
“Um… yeah. One, why?” He swallowed nervously. She shrugged.
“No reason. Just being safe.” She pushed onward, making sure he was close behind. As they swam, he noticed something looming. It… glowed. Oh, phosphorescence. Hm, some of the coral must glow in the dark.He paused for a moment,

“Wait. What did you mean by “being safe?” There aren’t any…? Oh dear sweet mother of Celestia, you meant for fending off sharks, didn’t you?!” He looked around nervously, and Aqueous swam behind him, butting her head against his flank and pushed.

“Come, on! They don’t swim this close to the reef! So relax, you big magical dope!” They continued to swim, passing silvery schools of fish. Gearhoof wasn’t certain what kind of fish they were, and didn’t worry. Fish were fish, to him. At last, the reef loomed before them. Coral seemed to cover every available surface, and strange anemones waved red and green tendrils in the current. Schools of multihued fish swam everywhere. It was incredible, bordering on sensory overload. “Over here!” Aqueous beckoned to him, floating near a low dished area, wide as a house, ringed with purple and pink coral, shimmering. in the middle was tall, floating seaweed. She dove in, and he chased after her. As he entered the patch of seaweed, he looked around for her.

“Aqueous? Where are you?” He heard only giggling in response. He moved towards the sound, and called again. “Okay, nice. You got me. Now we’re even, right?” He looked around nervously. There was no sound now. The silence crowded around him, more closely than the seaweed, making his chest feel tight. “Aqueous…?” A shadow fell over him. “Aqueou-… oh dear Celestia…” As he looked up, the white belly of a shark passed over, far above him, but not far enough for his comfort, Gearhoof thought. As he stared, a shape darted beneath him, and whinnied in sheer terror as something touched his neck.

“HA! Now we’re even!” Aqueous gloated, floating upside-down, beneath him. She floated up, her belly touching his.

“Um. Aqueous, doesn’t it feel awkward floating like that?”

“Not really.” She shrugged and pressed her nose to his. “Boop.” Her head darted back. “Now you boop my nose.” He moved towards her.

“Um. What, do I press my nose to yours?” He pressed his nose against hers.

“Now you say ‘Boop.’”

“Um. Boop.” She nodded as he said it.

“Just so. Mum taught me that.”

“Um. Do you boop mine, now?”

“If you want.” She grinned. She leaned forward and started to say Boop, “Boo-” Gearhoof moved slightly and pressed his lips to hers. Her eyes widened in surprise and then rolled back slightly, as she held the kiss. He could feel his fur against hers, as their bodies pressed together. She wiggled slightly beneath him as kiss stretched into a moment that felt infinitely long, and yet not enough to satisfy. He felt the warmth of her body against his, and felt urges rising in him that he had not satisfied in years. “Oh… so you do like me. Ever had a seapony before?” She panted, rubbing up against him.

“Dear Celestia, do you even realize how irresistible you are?” He stared at her gently flapping wings.

“Oh. I know what you like in a mare!” She reached forward with a wing, and tickled his nose. He sneezed, then nibbled on a feather.

“Um. I’ve always wanted to do this… um. Can I preen you?” She tilted her head.

“Wait. What?”

“I just… those wings. I’ve always liked pegasi. The flying, the physical skill, the grace. I’m scared of heights, but watching a pegasus fly is amazing. It… it excites me. I’m sorry, I’m weirding you out now, right?”

“No. I think I understand. And um… you can, if you want.” She pushed her wing towards him. He nibbled gently, pushing feathers the right way, smoothing them out. “Ahh… right there, please.” He nibbled near the base of the joint, and she moaned. “Damn you… s-stop teasing me. We both want it. Please…” she pressed herself against him, and he could feel the rush, as his heart beat faster, his breathing faster.

“I’ve just been so… nervous. You’re too beautiful for words.” He blushed, and she kissed him gently.

“Oh, you.” As he prepared to enter her, a clear tone rang out. “No. No. No no no no no NO!”

“Is that your shell?” She kissed him again, and nibbled on his ear.

“Just ignore it. Please. I want you in me.” She breathed into his ear. He rubbed against her, pushing gently as she moaned. He could feel shivers run through their bodies as they touched. He slid in, gently, and a different tone rang out. He looked down and noticed it was his shell this time. He ignored it and pressed farther into her. It felt like most of his brain was shutting down and what was left was hardwired to his nerves. He felt on fire, a terrible, burning ecstasy as he moved in time with her, their bodies rocking in  time like the waves. “Ohhh, Gearhoof-” Two tones rang out, louder, more strident this time, as both shells lit up. “Godsdamnit.” She slipped the pendant off of her neck and into the sand. He looked at his shell, and held it near him. “Gearhoof, no!”

“Um. Hello?” An alto, slow and calm, came from the shell.

“Aqueous? No, can’t be. Who are you, dearie? And why do you have my daughter’s work shell?”

“Um. Gearhoof. And she’s right here.” He started to offer the shell to her, and she shook her head vigorously. “Um. She’s busy. Can I give her a message?”

“Yes, sweetie. Just tell her her dear old mommy hasn’t heard from her in a week, and she worries about her so,” She crooned in a wheedling tone.

“Mother! That’s cheating!” Aqueous shouted into the shell. The voice took on a strangely frail quality.

“Oh, Aqueous, is that you? Oh, your mother misses you so!” Aqueous sighed gustily, her gills flaring.

“Fine, mom. I’ll visit you.” The voice lost all traces of frailty, seeming to crow in triumph.

“Wonderful! And bring your coltfriend, he sounds cute!”

“Mother! He’s not my-” but the shell faded before she could finish.

“Um. Does that mean I get to meet your parents?”

(mod: who wants to play along?)

h0rmonecasserole:

Saying “my friend” is just much easier than saying “this person I follow on tumblr” so you’re all my friends whether you like it or not okay

Now that I know how to set up a donate button… the Liberate Dave Fund will be operating shortly. Expect to see it in a day or so.

now that anon got me wondering… who was that masked anon?

“Okay, that isn’t even fair!” He stepped off, and she flew down, tackling him.
“Alright, I’m a cheat. Whatcha gonna do?” She stood over him, nose-to-nose. He frowned at her.
“Fine! I’ll do this!” He leaned in, pressing his lips against hers. Her eyes went wide, ears straight up. He pressed his tongue gently against her lips, and her lips parted, her tongue seeking his. They twined together, and he could feel her breathing faster. They played tag, first his tongue exploring her mouth, then hers darted eagerly into his. He could feel a moan trying to escape, but there was no room to let it out. His heart raced. They broke the kiss, their tongues reaching out to each other, as if reluctant to surrender this moment of bliss. He panted slightly, breathing hard.

(mod: wow… I think I need a moment after that.)

ask-candlelight:

Egyptians, Jews, Greeks, Spaniards 
long ago, the four master races lived in silent hatred; But everything changed when the Egyptians attacked! Only the Avatar, master of all races, could stop them. But when the world needed him most, he was crucified. 72 hours passed and my fellow maidens and I discovered the same Avatar. An air bender named Jesus. Although his airbending skills are great. He’s got a lot to learn before he can save anyone. But many believe, Jesus can save the world.

murrherkldfjehas… FFF-UCK! MY SIDES!

askdigidoodles:

pegachess:

jazz-hooves:

mar-the-dragon:

cheshires-hat:

hadespatches:

You should do that.

Indeed you should

OMG YES

Do it

I’m worried, but go aheadD:

Hit me with your best shot!

Let’s see what people think of me…

Red - I love you.
Deep Red - I’m in love with you.
Pink - I could stay on your blog for hours.
Yellow - You’re amazing.
Peach - You’re pretty.
Blue - I want to get to know you.
Purple - You’re hot.
Green - I would date you.
Black - I hate you.
White - Delete your tumblr.

just to speak with a lawyer… balls.